Friday, August 14, 2009


When you email me to ask where I’ve gone, you don’t need to be nice about it. I know. I am some sort of blogging jerk; that fact is beyond dispute. Not only have I vanished for a long while, but I’ve not check the inbox attached to this blog for a while. I apologize to those who wrote.

No. I've not been locked in Gayle Ruzicka's basement for the past couple months, forced to watch Johnney Lingo on a loop until I also find Mahana to be worth eight cows. I've not been on an undercover mission for the gay mafia as a LDS lesbian, deep within the ranks of Evergreen. It's actually quite mundane.

I’ve been insanely busy. Really busy; this post took about two weeks to write. <-- That period was accomplished over the span of 3 hours. Anyway, Some updates are as follows:

--First and foremost, my research has picked up greatly and my new professional duties have most all my non-family attention. I just can’t risk getting interested for even a half hour in blogging or browsing for now. The worst part is the crux of it won’t begin until the end of this month. But, honestly, I’m loving it and excited for the opportunity these next 4 months will give us. It was such a lucky break that I got this offer in this economy just as I learned my parents were having surgery in the Fall. This step in my career will end in more flexibility to move when the time is right, or keep our place here, and I am (probably overly) obsessed with getting it right. So, wish me luck on the vague thing I’ll soon be doing :-).

--I’m in the midst of starting a new small business. These little ventures are always a gamble of your time, but the payoff can be huge. We’ll see.

--We are also in the midst of moving into a new and much larger lab. As anyone who works in a lab knows, this is like moving into a new home, but worse. The difference being that transferring the contents of your cabinets and refrigerator when moving a lab involves moving substances that could kill you slowly within a decade, explode, or eat your foot off within an hour.

--My involvement with GLBT issues has increased quite a bit offline. I was just elected the chair of a human rights committee in a local government branch, we’re still meeting with the evangelical group, and we’ve started a group with LDS members. Even one of the main lobbyists for Prop 8 has sat on our couch in our family room a couple times now. It's kind of strange to be in such company, as one of the thousands of couples who are still legally married in California despite the LDS church's best efforts, but nope, no fist fights yet ;-). Not even an angry word from either side. Online has its benefits but face-to-face is a much better format for such touchy issues; it’s a lot harder for either side to dehumanize the other. I just hope things remain as productive as it seems to be so far.

Speaking of… I’m thankful that some bloggers have become involved with that group; I’m even more thankful that a fellow blogger got us in touch with some folks up there in the LDS ranks. We know more people who’d be interested in being involved, but we are at max population. We all agreed, though, it’d be great if similar groups popped up. If we can find more LDS folks willing to take that leap and just talk to the gay community (and, sure, it goes the other way as well), I’d like to spread this sort of thing.

--While I’m asking for stuff, I may as well put in a plug for poor Isocrat. I’ll get back to her eventually, and thank Ben for keeping her breathing in the time being, but it needs help. I don’t have the time it needs, though, and hope to find people who do.

Anyway, what else… We just celebrated our boys’ 7th birth day, our 14th anniversary and our 18th year together. It was a crazy year from our California marriage to now. After our trip to Massachusetts a while ago, I’ve realized I’m addicted to the comfort of knowing my family will be legally treated fairly; heck, it was just nice to be able to rent the car as a spouse without having to pay to be the “second driver”. For a whole week we were in a place where there was no reason to defend our home or fight for even basic fairness. I came back refreshed and certain, someday, we’ll have that where we live, if either we have to go where it is or bring it to us. But, for now, I have a lot of work ahead of me, here.

You know, though, it kind of feels like the universe interrupted me here on purpose, by handing me opportunities involving so much work. I’m not saying that being here because of my parent’s health problems is a good thing; just that being busy has been. It’s just that after Proposition 8, I was a bruised man, in several ways. You can see for yourself. My heart took a hit and is still physically sub par. I was greatly worried about how our opponent’s rhetoric would harm our children. I was frustrated by the double standards, prejudice, imaginary research... There I go :-). In all, the personality characteristics that help me in my job in science are also the characteristics that make arguing faith and politics so frustrating; it’s kind of fitting my job would step in and take my focus.

Now those nightmares of someone or something threatening my family have been replaced with the usual and pleasant dream nonsense. Goodness knows this state doesn’t feel any less hostile, but I’m back to the place where my hopes for it are low enough again to keep free of frustration. Though we’re in provisional home, a state (or legal state) which we’ll eventually leave in one way or another, I’m just focused on doing what needs to be done for the generation below and above me right now. I know that may sound sullen or defeatist or something, but it has actually been some measure of a relief.

Regardless, I’m afraid, at least for the next couple months, I’m going to remain scarce. I’m still putting some pictures and stuff up on facebook, though. If you know someone who knows me, you can keep up on at least the images of our latest escapades there (best email me from there too). I’ll try to check this a couple times a month though; let me know if you or anyone you know would be interested in a GLBT-LDS group meeting and we'll try to expand it.