Salt Water

We did that Prop 8 interview with Reed Cowan yesterday. Each time we do anything like this I try to brace myself. Questions like "What does family mean to you?" or "Tell me about how you became a parent." or "What does your relationship mean to you?" are common. With such topics that slight cramp at the back of the throat eventually seizes and I can't get a thought out that's not too heavy with emotion.

That's another benefit to being a gay man, though. I can be as masculine as I am by nature, and still get emotional without feeling I have to hold up some masculine stereotype (I don't even have to watch the Superbowl today!). Example, I let loose a tear in Batman, The Dark Knight, for goodness sake :-) (when the convict takes the remote on the ferry...). In short, I'm a crier, but don't really care much to control it in most instances. I spent too much time when coming out trying to hide how I was feeling.

However, that makes me a bad interview, and so, in those instances, I've tried to learn ways to hold it down again. I've taken to just telling people interviewing me right off the bat they can ask what they want, but stay away from emotional questions about family until the end if they want anything useful.

Now, there is a certain reason anyone with kids and who knows much about Reed would find their emotions near the surface around him. I don't want to go into that; suffice it to say it was an emotional setting from the start.

He was great. He just let us speak, and normally I'd have been okay, but my parents went before us. My mom got emotional, talking about what we go through in this state and I expected that; I could keep composure with that much. However, my dad, he rarely loses composure but he did yesterday. That finished off the flimsy interview barriers I've reconstruct during our last 4 years in this fight. When it was my turn, I'm afraid I left them with nothing usable.

The potent thing is that you don't really know how much your parents love you when you're growing up. You can't. You know they love you, but not what that means for a parent, not until you feel it yourself. And when you are a parent, your focus goes to the love for your kids, and you kind of stop thinking much about the love from you're parents. My parents were and are wonderful parents, and as an adult they are two of our best friends, people we love spending time with. I may not take enough time as an adult to realize or enjoy that love they have for me, but, recognizing what I have for my sons in them, it was more than I could hold in.

At the end they had everyone say their name and what they want. My parents said for me and my family to be treated fairly; I said (or tried to say :-)) to be able to protect my family like any one else, to have my family treated in the way our LDS neighbors want their families treated. It's that same sort of drive, pointing that particular love forward, into the next generation; I wish my composure stood a chance in front of it when also in front of a crowd, but am also kind of glad it doesn't.

Anyway... getting a little too serious?

Why stop mid-post though, right?

I also want to take some time here to give some kudos to Scott and Sarah. We stopped by their home last night on the way back from the interview. They are very good hosts, and all that was appreciated. Thank you.

But the thing that strikes me most is the fact that they've generously given a nonjudgmental place to relax and fit in for gay LDS who either just want to hang out with others like them, or those who desperately need a break, a place they don't have to hide who they are. Sometimes families of gay kids in these parts lose track of that familial love for a time, or cause distance thinking it's love, and it's a great comfort to me to know people are there to catch them. To open up your hearts and home like that is impressive, and inspiring to me. Whatever the blog equivalent of applause is, I'm doing it.

MoHos in the News

Yesterday's March for Common Ground Bills

About 300 people braved driving rain to take part in Saturday's march on the Utah Capitol, a peaceful event marking possibly the most expansive legislative push for gay rights in state history.

...

Said Landa Mavety of Draper who postponed a Saturday of housecleaning to support her 23-year-old lesbian daughter: "There's a long road ahead, but this is a beginning."

Micheal's Photography at BYU

"Last fall, Embree was one of several gay BYU students who posed for portraits shot by photography student Michael Wiltbank. The portraits were hung as part of a class show, but after a week college administrators ordered the portraits taken down.

The move disturbed some BYU arts faculty, as well as critics who lit up the blogosphere with renewed allegations that BYU does not tolerate a free exchange of ideas. Within days, officials declared the portraits acceptable for public display and invited Wiltbank to rehang them."

I guess we must move papers.

Day 2, At Sea With Rosie

In the morning, we boarded the boat, got settled, and headed to the upper deck to watch us float past the cityscape. It was unsettling to again notice the space where the towers once stood, but just a turn of the head and one could see the statue of liberty. Beautiful.

Just as we were passing Manhattan by we found a friend from last year. He has kids about our children’s age and they were all thrilled to see each other again. Brian talked about them all last year.

(One of those kids is ours :-))

I wonder now if many cruises are like this--the non-rfamily cruises I’ve been on were not--but every evening there’s a theme. This evening it was “State Fair”. Now, BC (Before Children) I’d refuse to participate in anything like this, but if my kids and Rob are all going to be dressed the same then I’ll conform too, just with protest slight enough that I know I’ll lose. So we all put on our Utah gear and headed to the BBQ.

Again, it’s amazing how many different states and countries were represented there, though most people were from around New York, of course.

Finally, I’m not really a big fan of Rosie O’Donnel. To me, she’s kind of like, say, the omelet of celebrities. I don’t have anything against omelets. I can enjoy them if it’s what’s for breakfast and I can see why some like them and some don’t, but I’ve no strong feelings and would never order one for my self. That’s right; Rosie O’Donnel = omelet… [sigh] It’s early. Simply, I appreciate what her family has done in putting on this cruise, I know she’s entertaining and I respect her talents but they just don’t resonate with my innate tastes. Furthermore, she is more of the bad cop sort of gay activist, and, as I’ve said, I can certainly see their great contributions, but their methods just rub me the wrong way. So sue me, Gay Mafia.

Rob on the other hand, I fear the only person for whom he might leave me would be Rosie. Could you imagine the tabloids? “Avowed Lesbian Rosie O’Donnell Wrecks Gay Man’s Family, Film at 11” He reads her blog as habit and writes in periodically.

Anyway, she MC’s most of the entertainment on the ship. The first night they put on some Broadway show. I’m not into such singing and so I stayed for her opening act and a couple numbers by some famous Broadway singers (I think), but when one of the boys had to go pee, I graciously “sacrificed” and took him back to the room.

Point is, I unexpectedly learned a lesson in PR and spin that night. Rosie made a couple jokes about her fight with Donald Trump and Hasselbeck. It would be difficult to care any less for such conflict, and it went by as just a couple small jokes in her set, but what followed was interesting. At port we talked to my sister and found out that some one in the audience had video taped the performance and sent it in to the media; it was even on the O’Reilly factor. We had a traitor on board :-).

I’m not going to list all the false facts and mischaracterizations I’ve found in searching “news” items about what happened on stage that night. I feel guilty to even search for it. It’s just seems so silly all around. But it is amazing to see how the media gets it wrong, even when they have video, and always in the direction of the more sensational (As I guess I knew already with our own experiences, here). It was also annoying that the whole event can be spun in some minds into a negative light for a couple jokes by one person in a 90 minute show for a week long cruise. I mean, one that got me riled was something like “Gay Cruise Becomes Anti-Hasselbeck Brainwashing Session”. We were all way too busy going to our on board workshops on converting heterosexuals, eroding societies, and sabotaging apple pies to worry about celebrity fights.

Great, now I feel stupid for even bringing it up.

Where's My Liberal Media?

It's probably gotten to the point where more than a couple of those ‘round here could find me in published articles. For that fact I think it best to describe my encounters with the media.

[Err, decided I best leave this story out for some privacy :-), but:]

I didn’t learn my lesion though. We were out, and I was thinking we should do what most in our shoes can’t for legal or personal reasons, and keep speaking. I’d find a way to control it, right? :-) But there’s not been more than one or two media instances since that hasn’t either left me misquoted, or misattributed. Sure, they get a good deal right, but somehow the story is pushed out of reality and into a more sensational key.

Don’t get me wrong; I know and like some of the people in the press. I’d trust their accuracy. But in general they’re selling a product and, consciously or no, many in that business, in my experience, lean towards what sells. And I’ve had it go both ways: conservative press making me fanatically liberal and liberal press making me fanatically conservative.

In short, expect this if dealing with the media. Expect the most radical thing said to be phrased in the most radical way, in the most radical context (and then attributed to you :-)). That’s what you should be relieved to not see the next day, as that’s what’s significantly possible.

Anyway, if I didn’t type it, ask me about it before it’s attributed to me. More than once I’ve had to call friends and family to tell them the news wasn’t accurate. Heck, even some of what I do type I’d not claim ;-).