Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Counterintuitive Statistic

A break from history (stalling as I’m not quite sure how or if I want to talk about becoming parents).

The following are the top 3 states in the percentage of self-identified same-sex headed households raising minor children in the US (from the 2000 census, source):

Lesbian headed families:
1. Mississippi, at 44 percent
2. Utah and South Dakota, both at 42 percent
3. Texas, at 41 percent

Gay male headed families:
1. South Dakota, at 33 percent
2. Mississippi, at 31 percent
3. Utah and Idaho, both at 30 percent

On the surface, isn’t that odd? Look at conservative, LDS Utah there, #3 and #2 in the nation for my family type. (It shows at our monthly family get-togethers too.)

These are some of the states with the most strict laws and cultures aimed at stopping gay couples from raising children, but they are the states with the highest rates of gay couples doing just that.

Why? Is it that these states have cultures that encourage gays to marry heterosexuals, leading to marriages with children that don’t last? Seems plausible, but such a state would also likely limit custody being awarded to a home containing a “gay lover”.

For me, I knew I was going to be a father from as far back as I can remember, and, despite being gay and unable to procreate with my spouse, it came to be. We both grew up knowing that was our destiny. We were both, thankfully, taught that by our culture.

In the end I have to wonder if Utah isn’t #3 in the nation despite the LDS church, but because of the LDS church.


-L- said...

Scot, I would "tsk tsk tsk" you, but I know that's not received very well ;-). I'm delighted to see you have indeed started this blog and I'm only disappointed I missed it until today.

I look forward to catching up and reading more.

Scot said...

Tsk!? Not received well?

I'm afraid, sir, I don't know what you mean.

(Tsk, that always reminds me of "Caps for Sale". ha)

I was actually going to finish laying down my background, and get onto current topics before I brought it up. Not much input needed for things already done. But then Chris showed up and I suspected the cat was out of the bag.

You did get my last email regarding Nielsen? I’m not trusting that email account after a couple odd occurrences.

-L- said...

Having finally caught up on all your posts (which were, by the way, AWESOME), I hope you'll accept some gentle pressure to indeed share how you came to be a father.

I'm not sure what to make of that statistic. But, I have no problem believing you make a much better home for your children than so many others out there (but then, who am I to judge what with my mixed orientation marriage reportedly being a child abuse time bomb!).

-L- said...

Also, I've had a couple more of those e-mails returned to sender undeliverable. You may want to try me with a different address. I could even give you a gmail invite if you want.

Scot said...

Thank you L. You’re too kind. :-)

I'll find another account...

I’m still thinking about writing on becoming and being a parent. I hesitate because there’s nothing more able to bring me to tears or blows than the topic of my kids. I want to be cool and collected ;-).

As I guess you’d know, some can be pretty crass, dehumanizing, and ignorant when discussing such “social experiment” as any family headed by a gay man, and then expect you to somehow behave differently than they would if someone talked about their children in such a way.

I’ll stall a bit more…