Another article says:
Add to "unspecified disciplinary action", "male friend" and a suicide threat on temple grounds...He...pointed the firearm at his chest, said Provo police Capt. Cliff Argyle.
A male friend was trying to convince the man to put down the gun when police arrived...
I may be seeing a pattern where there is none but it sounds way too familiar.
Regardless of why, though, there is a tragedy there. There is also a great blessing in that the man had a friend to talk him down. I know my experience with a suicidal friend tells me there's a lesson to learn in the humanity behind this short news item, even if this has nothing to do with gay issues.
I know it can seem so bad that death looks to be the solution; I dare say most all gay men of my generation in Utah know there are times during the coming out process when it can seem that bad. I just wish anyone entertaining such thoughts, gay or not, could feel what it feels like to have them decades behind you. Thank goodness some measure of hope, or even fear, or stubbornness, or whatever does the trick, and pulls most all people through those times and onto many happy lives. Friends though seem to be the main means by which those without hope or fear can make it through.
For that reason, that "male friend" pleading up at the Provo temple two nights ago deserves to be honored. Whoever he is, he is a hero of mine.
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6 comments:
That poor guy! Oh it's so awfully upsetting to hear - it doesn't matter what the action taken against this guy was. It doesn't matter at all. All that matters, in my view, is that this guy was so dependent on the judgement of a church/organizationi that he considered killing himself over getting in its bad graces. I feel so sorry for that guy.
Stories like this really make me wonder is Steven Fales (gay ex-husband of Emily Pearson and son-in-law of Carol Lynn Pearson) is right. In the introduction to the book version of his one-man play Confessions of a Mormon Boy he says:
I define spiritual abuse as any time an individual or group uses religion to justify telling or showing anyone that he or she is not worthy of God's full love and blessings... My excommunication from the church of my birth for the practice of homosexuality ... is an overt form of spiritual abuse... No one should be excommunicated for anything.
I think I understand the reasons for disciplinary actions like disfellowhipping and excommunication, but I still wonder if cutting someone off from the Church at a time when they are perhaps most likely to need the support of its members is the right thing to do.
people need to realize that is a glum as things can seem in the present, brighter days are ahead
I had the same response. I thought for sure this must be someone from the MoHo crowd. I am so relieved that he did not succeed. Will BYU and the Church show some mercy? Many times I have told myself how happy I am that I do not own a gun since I would have done the same thing in a moment of despair.
I do not know any of the people involved, but coming so soon after Prop 8, I thought we were looking at a replay of the Matis tragedy.
I really feel bad for people who have no "escape pod" as it were with the church. While growing up I felt really down because my family was less active, but now I'm so glad they were. I think it helped me when I had to leave it to survive.
The LDS faith does not have a monopoly on happiness, security, and contentment. I just wish people like this guy could see that; or, at least, the person we're extrapolating from this article.
Amanda "All that matters, in my view, is that this guy was so dependent on the judgement of a church/organizationi that he considered killing himself over getting in its bad graces."
That is the kicker. I'm just glad, when it was time for the church to reprimand me, I was literally asking for it. Must be tough to feel like all you're supposed to get from your faith is put at risk.
Scot:
"I think I understand the reasons for disciplinary actions like disfellowhipping and excommunication, but I still wonder if cutting someone off from the Church at a time when they are perhaps most likely to need the support of its members is the right thing to do."
Yeah, it seems to me two things are going on here. There's the legalistic considerations where you have to keep the religious law in a church or you become seen as a liberal church and lose authority to many minds. They have a right to excommunicate whoever they want. But then there's also the fact that so many kids are in the faith from birth... it's not such a simple choice of take-it-or-leave-it then.
q.u."people need to realize that is a glum as things can seem in the present, brighter days are ahead"
Exactly. That silver lining seems too hard for many here to see.
Anonymous:
"I thought we were looking at a replay of the Matis tragedy."
That's exactly where my mind went. Hang in there.
Chester that's a good point. I think you elaborated on that well in you last point, and it makes sense; I know my liberal parents saved my fundamentalist soul :-).
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