Monday, August 06, 2007

Three Anniversaries and an Exit

Just got back… yes. Again. This one was for our anniversary. Hard to imagine it’s been 12 years since that day Rob and I made those bonds and public promises, but that’s what my intricate calculations come to, see: 2007 – 1995 = 12. Right? ;-)

Let’s see… Here we were (in non-matching, non-pink outfits, I'll have you notice):

About two years from there, we’d be buying our first home, in California, and in about five years more we’d be becoming parents and raising our boys back here in Utah.

In October we’ll have been together 15 years. 15 years. Gosh, I’m approaching the point where I’ll have been with Rob for more time than I’ve not. I’m sure together we already occupy far more real-estate in my memory than I alone could claim, and it can be quite tough now to remember what it was like to be in my shoes when he wasn’t next to them, to the point where I reflexively wonder if he ever wasn’t. I mean, not merely in some cute romantic realm, but, after so much time, it really does become impossible to draw a line between what is you and what isn’t without crossing over into your better half. In the end, you’d not have your form, be who you are, without their form; you’ve literally been made who you are for each other.

And man, those years go by so fast, particularly now, with children, ironically when you want them to slow down the most. Our boys are now five. FIVE! It boggles the mind.

They've gone from here:

(Doesn’t Alan, on the left there, look just a little bit like Montgomery Burns? But in a cute way... It’s the hands, right? "Excellent...") To here:
Somehow, at some point after their birth, weeks began ticking by as days once did. But I can’t put into words how happy I am to be able to look back and see where those years have gone, and what they’ve built. From that view, it’s clear what the time was for, what 15 and 5 amazing years can do, if not too quickly.

I best stop before I start leaking, as I’m apt to do on such a topic.

I’ve got some bad news too ;-).

I see it’s also nearing my blog anniversary, the 21st, but this, again, has become a very busy time in our life. Between work and play lately I just can’t keep up with this blog, and so, after a brief summer’s attempt to return, I’m out of here again. I wish there were more hours in the day, or that I didn’t like sleeping for 8 of them so darn much.

If only blogging meant merely writing a paragraph once a week or so for me, but, as anybody who’s read this blog for a while knows, I’m longwinded. I also easily pick up momentum and create post after post, and, aside from taking me out of town, it’s hard to stop me :-), particularly on topics about which I’m so passionate. Looking back, I’ve already past 200 posts in a year and everybody here knows it’s not just hours spent maintaining your blog. You get caught up in the blogs of others and that’s a whole other draw. I best take advantage of my recent interruptions.

In the end, between work and family (and circadian rhythms), I’m out of time, for now, and, though I enjoy blogging, I can’t think of anything else I’d want to or can rightly cut. I hope those who read my blog understand, because I do feel like a bit of a smuck (for going again … and for having to write another post saying I’m going again… and for the possibility that I’ll just come back again too soon and have to write another one… and for being bigheaded enough to imagine it’s anywhere near a responsibility to blog :-)).

Anyway, here’s to looking forward to more free time, eventually, maybe in the Fall… Winter?

Again, I’ll keep checking my email, for the random and welcome hello, point of clarification, question, angry letter in all caps, or Nigerian offer to make me great sums of money. Don’t count me blog-dead, please; just in another blog-coma.

Looking back at my last vacation I see I left some cliff hangers. Let me clear them up; I’d hate it if, say, Lost left any loose ends ;-).


Yes the sand box was finished in time, and a trampoline was added too. When they get older I’m pretty sure they’ll be jumping from the elevated sandbox down onto the trampoline and then on to breaking their arm, but I survived as a kid, it has a net, and I was outvoted :-). The play fort, though, is going to have to wait for more moderate temperatures.

In a related story, and on an ominous note, we all slept out in our backyard, in a tent, not too long ago and found the next day that the coyotes have come back. Our dog freaked out in the middle of the night and we learned another dog was killed by them just down the street. Since then we’ve had numerous sightings. I guess the one who got our dog did have pups. They best not mess with Ultima, or I’ll have to chase them down with a flashlight again. I’m not above sequels.

No, Rob will not be taking the tainted government cash they give to gay couples for not being married. This is not because we adeptly reasoned some solution to that moral problem, no. It’s because he’ll not be going back to school at all. Though some extra income could be nice, it’s nothing we need and so he decided to remain as a full time stay-at-home parent, even when the kids are in school all day. I’m actually relieved on many fronts. He plans to volunteer at the school and for our favored charitable organization when there isn’t anything to be done at home. Yeah, I know. With kids, when is there nothing to be done at home, even with them in school all day? But he may need outside the home adult interaction and charity is great for the effect and for the fact that they typically let you choose your own hours :-).

And apparently, as I'm told, Brian has mastered the Jedi Mind Trick, but only on his parents and grandparents.

Seems that’s it… Ugg, the length of this post speaks to my reluctance to leave again, but…

Push the orange button; over and out.


Paul said...

Two comments:
1) Somebody has a lot less hair than they did twelve years ago.
2) I hope to stay in touch. Someday maybe you'll need some advice and drop me a line.

Mr. Fob said...

Happy anniversary.

And to Alan: Exxxxxcellent.

I'll keep you in my Google Reader. You'll be back--I have faith.

Beck said...

Anything I can think to say sounds so cheezy. But, I'll miss your insights and inspiration. Thanks for your voice and thanks for sharing it here helping me to "know you" and to see the beauty that is your beautiful family!

Kengo Biddles said...

I'll miss you, Scot.

And happy anniversary.

And get them coyotes!

And love your kids and your hubby.

playasinmar said...

Hello again. :)


Please ignore the fact that I can't spell "Nigeria" nor "royal."

Scot said...

“1) Somebody has a lot less hair than they did twelve years ago.”

I know! Rob has lost a lot, but I still love him. ;-)

Really, looking back at the photographic evidence, I obviously gave my hair to my children in those first 3 sleepless months. They snatch it out of you after you pass out from their tag team baby assaults.

“2) I hope to stay in touch. Someday maybe you'll need some advice and drop me a line.”

I hope the same. Five years have gone by so fast I know they’ll be adolescents in no time with all the unfamiliar dynamics of how twins deal with the friendships of the other and so on and on… I’ll have need of advice :-).

Scot said...

Mr. Fob:
I'll keep you in my Google Reader. You'll be back--I have faith.

…in my lack of will power?! Huh? Just because I failed last time. Well, you’ll see! You’ll all see!! There will be, at the very least, a month--no two months--of no posting. (How many days in September?)

Scot said...

Thank you Beck and same to you. I don’t want to say how much of an appreciated learning experience it has been for me to get to know gay men in straight marriages, with kids, like yourself, Ben, L, and santorio and more, for fear of revealing my old and ditched assumptions ;-). I’m a better man for the lesions learned.

Scot said...


1. Ditto.
2. Thank you.
3. They don’t stand a chance.
4. You can count on it. :-)

Scot said...

Playasinmar, you didn’t even give me the account number to which I should wire the necessary funds.

Is this your first time?

You know, the money you need in order to bribe the bank authority so that he’ll let you access the fortune we’ll be sharing. I’m counting on this deal and am eager to send you the $5,000 bribe so that you can send me my millions. Then I can finally buy that private island, declare myself a nation, and enact mandatory gay marriage (MwahHaHa...Ha).

Let’s get moving on this!

Anonymous said...

write when you can

GeckoMan said...

You two certainly must be proud parents of the two most handsome and adorable little boys on the face of the planet. Good luck with the trampoline!

Scot said...

Thank you much, Geckoman. We are proud of them :-).

And I will, santorio. I’ve got one more big event coming up that I have to get out of the way, and then I should again have the blog time I once did, at least for a while.