Tuesday, July 31, 2007

In My Defense

It seems a rumor has been going about that I wear pink shirts, and not only that but matching pink shirts with my spouse. I have endured some ribbing on the matter and, granted, on the face of it, it would be a criminally cutesy offence, one I may not forgive myself if I witnessed it out in the wilds of Utah (and I have, at that).

But, let me assure the public that, if this event did occur, there would have been multiple extenuating circumstances that any kindhearted judge of my character should take into consideration:

1. The incident in question was an isolated incident, and one born from the confusion that comes when one’s spouse, mother, and cruise director team up in such a perfect storm. Simply, I was only following orders.

2. Due to the fact that we did not even own a pink shirt, a truth that may speak in my defense, we had to buy the shirts for the cruise. Thus, at the first pink shirts we found, we simply bought two. So what appear to be matching outfits are actually the product of manly shopping efficiency.

3. The pink shirts in question were purchased at Costco. ‘Nuff said.

4. Finally, not long after wearing them for the first time, both Alan’s and my pink shirt were ruined in a finger-painting accident (or maybe “accident”; you can’t prove anything).

Given the above, any just and compassionate human being could see the matching-pink-shirt incident was 100% innocent, and an anomaly of chance that will not happen again. I apologize to anyone who I’ve inadvertently harmed by such a display of grotesque cutesy apparel, and remain hopeful I'll have your vote in 2008.


iwonder said...

I think pink is hot.

I think you all looked great in pink.

Don't be ashamed of the pink.

Be proud of the pink.

Mr. Fob said...

Given the relative dearth of photos of you guys on this blog, I'm just assuming you always wear matching pink shirts. At least that's how I will picture you, now and always.

It's kind of cute.

Scot said...

Curses! That’s exactly the sort of prejudiced image I was hoping to head off here, Mr. Fob. Don’t make me post the myriad of images I have of us not in matching pink outfits. I’m sure I could find some.

(And no disagreement, iwonder. I just woke up this morning and got a kick out of the idea that a gay man could be defensive about wearing pink for his masculinity, when he, without a worry about it, goes home to his husband every night. :-))

Scot said...

Curses again! I just noticed my avatar is pink!

Brian did it, not me.

santorio said...

i do have a pink tie, mandated by my daughter-in-law for the wedding party, and i paused at a pink tie with ostriches on it the other day, but my wife vetoed it: "you just don't look good in pink." i tell, you her denial is pervasive. but that's okay. denial in the defense of the ego can be in the long run a healthy response to an irreconciliable problem.

Sean said...

I'm telling you, this is how campaigns run amuck!

1)matching "pink" shirts
2)denial that the incident in question was nothing more than wardrob malfunction/or outside influences.
3)further evidence surfaces to show that "matching outfits" are more common place occurances.
4)then you on national tv trying to "define" what "matching" means

its all down hill now. Quick, hire FoxNews to do a broadcast about the "joys" of matching outfits. That way you can get a handle on the spin first! I'll get the PR people on this right away!

We can recover.

btw, did you guys get those matching pink His/His bath towels set I sent?


Kengo Biddles said...

Scot, it's okay to wear pink. It's not like I'm going to think you're gay or something...

...oh, wait. :)

Elbow said...

guys look good in pink. that's a fact.

Kengo Biddles said...

Guys, or you, Elbow? ;)

Scot said...

Santorio: “pink tie with ostriches on it

One could only hope it was as glorious as it is in the imagination.

Sean, I knew I should have contacted you, my cunning political strategist, before posting. If I’m not elected, I’m sure Matching-Pink Gate will be my undoing.

…and they aren’t really “matching” are they? I mean, no two shirts are exactly alike, right?

Elbow: “guys look good in pink. that's a fact.

True enough, but I still get the feeling pink on men makes some in these parts nervous. I’ve yet to see any of my neighbors head off to church in a shirt that’s anything but white or blue :-).

And Kengo, you can think I’m gay; there's more than enough evidence beyond that photo ;-).

Sean said...

"…and they aren’t really “matching” are they? I mean, no two shirts are exactly alike..."

now you're getting the idea. throw them off with confusing logic.

I've very proud of you. :-)