Monday, January 14, 2008

Dividing Labor

In an attempt to smear my perfectly tolerable name, Mr. Fob has suggested that I don’t do enough around the house (no doubt in order to improve the chances that a fruit, one that’s like 50% pit, will be elected president).

It may be kind of different how labor becomes divided in a home with two men or two women. So, to explain (and defend myself!), this is how it’s done. We split it up by who’s good at what. I have the lamb skins and so I’m the one with the out of the home career, and he’s a stay at home dad because that’s where most his talents are, but it’s more complicated than that.

Honors Given to Scot:

Bringer of Bacon
Bather of Wild Children
Hanger of Pictures
Slayer of Spiders
Vanquisher of Trash
Taskmaster of Homework
Preparer of Children for School and Bed
Assembler of Breakfast
Scary Monster, Sith Lord, or Hide and Seek Ninja
between the hours of 5 and 8 PM.
Main Cleaner of all Things Unmentionable
Handy Man
, a title on which my ego demands elaboration.
Builder and Designer of Sand Boxes
Designer of Playhouses (Est. Completion Date: June 2008)
Installer and Designer of our Home Automation, Security, Network, and Sound Systems
Novice Electrician (Yes, it’s as imprudent as it sounds.)
And just yesterday I built a nicely framed, 2 ft by 6 ft cork board for each of the boy’s rooms, for art display :-). I don’t know that that deserves a title. Still, they are cool, if I do say so myself, custom made, and I can’t wait for the paint to dry so that I can get that art up.
Computer Tamer
Sole Operator of Home Entertainment Systems
(See, the trick is to make it so complicated that you become indispensible.)

Honors Given to Rob:

Creator of Dinner. (But somehow and unlike the situation in other families, this doesn’t mean he’s the one who continually gets up to get the kids all the extra stuff they ask for, until dinner has gone cold. Generally, he’s the cook and I’m the waiter)
Cleaner of Homes
Launderer of Laundry
Baker of Cookies
Blower of Snow
Planter of Flowers and Gardens
Hunter and Gatherer of Food and Clothing
Payer of Bills

Of course, we do cross over into each other’s realm at times and there are some job titles we share pretty much 50/50, like the Doer of Dishes.

I also suppose I’ve numerous easy jobs and a couple larger responsibilities, while Rob has more quality than quantity, but I think it balances out :-).

(Did I make myself sound useful enough?)


Mr. Fob said...

Okay, I guess I'll take back those slanderous attacks on your character. But I still say your father never marched with MLK Jr.

[əɪ̯ wʌndɹ̟] said...

That may be so, Mr. Fob, but we all know he is a "lifelong hunter".

MoHoHawaii said...

Can it get any cuter? I don't think so.

I hereby nominate the Cogs as most adorable family of the year.

Scot said...

Ah, thank you mohohawaii.

And my father did too watch part of a speech by MLK on the TV, once.

Mr. Fob said...

Oh, so you meant it figuratively. I see.

Eleanor's Papa said...

I'm convinced that Eleanor's stay-at-home Daddy eats bonbons and watches Oprah all day, and he's convinced that I just go to the office and play on the internet all day. Straight couples should be so Ozzie and Harriet.

Scot said...

Oh, I know they watch Oprah (not to mention Ellen). I hear about it quite often.

It’s very nice to see another Papa around these parts.

You don’t happen to have a blog too, do you? I’ve been looking for more gay and lesbian parents.