Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Neighborhood

Remember the good old days around these parts, oh, about a year and a half ago?

I miss Sean, GBUYS, Cas., and more. What about Chris, L, Fox, and GayLDSActor; remember when they actually posted at least once a week, not the current once every blue moon?

Don’t get me wrong; I’m very glad to meet and read new folks. It was just a simpler time, a smaller, cozier space back then, right? And I think I get it; I’m not saying people should stick around. Most people aren’t blogging for my aims; many are there to document a process and once it’s over or once blogging gets in the way of that process, they are rightly off.

Also, I fear I had some prophetic vision in my joking, when the first significant cracks appeared, with the great MoHo-HoMo debate of aught-7. It seems more people moved in than could keep a social network intact where folks were familiar with each other, familiar enough to not vilify and to keep giving the benefit of the doubt. Camps formed, some were shunned, others got fed up. There was some yelling, outings, threats, insults made with those familiar, polite surfaces (Say what you will, but we here in Utah know how to do the passive aggressive insult with great skill, don’t we? ;-)).

And, heck, I know I can be part of the same problem. I’ve been reading but not commenting or posting much lately. I’ve been busy with isocrat.org, and that’ll just make this area feel less like a neighborhood, to me.

Also, I try to be friendly and hope I have been. I know, though, that there’s always a point of indignation in me for anyone who admits to wanting to keep my family from legal equality, or insults my marriage or home, no matter how they might couch such to sound civil, or what their good intentions are. If it were just an academic argument, I think I’m pretty good at keeping feelings out of it, but I know when it’s my family, I have to watch it too, to hate the sin and not the sinner. I mean, it's my family. I’m sure that frustration has seeped out from me at times; perhaps it just did ;-).

Eh, of course, I don’t think anything will change back; I was just feeling nostalgic. Am I the only one?

On the other hand, you know, gays are renowned for their preternatural gentrification abilities, even in some of the worst neighborhoods :-)…


Kengo Biddles said...

I feel that nostalgia, too, Scot.

And as for gentrification, it's our high Frasier quotient that induces that. I blame my mom for making me the Frasier I am today. :)

MohoInTx said...

I'm relatively new... started blogging in January this year.

When I see the arguments, I tend to get upset. I try to be open minded when it comes to this touchy issue, and it really bothers me when people try to state their opinion as fact in how I, or some other MoHo or HoMo should live. I'm not saying I don't like advice... people just come off as too strong and overbearing sometimes.

Recently a guy who reads my blog sent me an IM about the arguments within our community, and I felt kind of embarrased. I wish that fault wasn't there.

Java said...

I'm part of the new crowd, too. Don't know the former gang. Not too familiar with the infighting, either, although I'm not so naive to think it doesn't happen.

It is difficult to the tune of impossible to maintain objectivity when the argument is against the passion of your soul. When there is gross injustice against your family, you will not smile politely, of course. You shouldn't. Among those of my acquaintance, your voice is one of the best at articulating your point with passion but not losing the grasp of sanity in the process. Keep up the good work.

Scot said...

Kengo I feel that nostalgia, too, Scot.

Glad I'm not the only one. At least we're getting Elbow back :-).

Vanson people just come off as too strong and overbearing sometimes.

:-) yeah, I've seen and probably perpetrated some of that. That's what happens when both sides believe the other is advocating wrong.

I swear, I try to keep in mind we've both the same aim; it's just not easy when I (admittedly disproportionately for my position) see direct evidence, without having to wait to see if supernatural predictions pan out, the damage done to my home and to other gay men and their loved ones. See, there I go...

Java Not too familiar with the infighting, either, although I'm not so naive to think it doesn't happen.

It actually wasn't all that bad on the surface, aside from a couple, now deleted, comments; we Utahns know how to keep the surface pretty clean ;-). But what when on behind the public blogs sounds terrible. But now, things have changed; there's a much more adversarial tinge to more of the comments.

And thank you Java; that's very nice of you to say.

[kɹeɪ̯g̊] said...

Should it not be "Gaybourhood"?

I think so.

And, really, that's all that matters.

Michael said...

Hey I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here. I wander through the neighborhood frequently, although I don't speak up as much. Perhaps I should shrug off the anti-socialism I've felt for a little while around these parts. I don't really have a good explanation for it other than that I've generally very non-confrontational and all the controversy kind of pushed me away.

On a different note, this was an interesting post to read because I feel the exact same way as you. I've reflected on life just a year ago and remember how nice this little online community was and how much it helped me at that time in my life. Anyway, I've been thinking about you on and off and meaning to say hi. I guess this is almost as good as an email?

Scot said...

almost :-)

I hope all is well and am glad to hear from you.

I didn't even know that was your blog!

Anyway, I think I understand, though would be happy to see you out and about the blogs again.

playasinmar said...

I’m not going to try to say you should miss me as well but you obviously should miss me as well. Anyway, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been up to this year…

Scot said...

Yeah, you jerk, where you been? I was wondering if I should attempt to track you down again.

And try me, my interest is there and I might believe what you've been up to. Ran a marathon? Took over a small banana republic? Became straight by using herbal remedies? What?

(Good to see your k9 belly again :-))