After I published this post on my prudish proclivities, I was asked a couple times why no porn? The topic in general is a reoccurring one among the blogs, and not viewing such material is important to many (Who’d have thought the LDS would get me thinking about porn :-)?).
I’ve no moral feeling that it’s inherently wrong, and I can’t deny that visceral button would get pushed if I were to switch over to Google right now and type in… what? “hot gay sex (tastefully done and nothing too exotic, please)”. It’s a popular American pastime, and many participate, I gather (in the porn part, not the gay part, except around these parts ;-)).
But I won’t do that, and now I’m wondering why. There’s no filter at my lab, and I’m often alone here; heck, it’s my small business anyway :-). I’m sure I could call and ask Rob’s okay, so as not to sneak, and I doubt he’d complain; he might tease me though. We both feel kind of the same way about it: It’s not wrong, we’d not consider it near cheating, but we don’t want it.
So in deep non-pornographic porn introspection I come up with a couple things that make the idea of switching my browser over and searching for such right now unappealing:
1. I’d imagine just looking is not where it’d end. That next step takes away from such together, and I’m not a young man anymore, not to mention it being a bit of a hassle and kind of funny in such an environment. Clear enough? If not, please don’t ask :-).
2. I’m sure part of it is that, like most heterosexuals, such wouldn’t be the only outlet for my orientation. My orientation is attracted in every way to the person to whom I go home. On this topic and speaking of This American Life, last week’s was all about the Ten Commandments and one segment was about a man who was a devout Christian but found himself being attracted to women and thus “coveting in his heart,” here. I’ll not recount the whole story but in his case pornography helped stop something worse, maybe for the same reasons pornography is not a help to many, gay or straight.
3. While I think it’s fully their choice and I’d not chastise them for it, the job of porn producer or model is just not one I want to encourage. I’d not want to be involved in the business. To be clear, I don’t think the law should stop adults from producing and posing, but there’s just something about it that feels wasteful. No offence, I feel the same way for American Idol :-).
4. Okay, okay there something seedy about the work too, to the gut; still, that’s just the habit of my gut. I could imagine it having completely noble uses (e.g. in fertility clinics, research). I could imagine, under different circumstances, seeing it as a desirable outlet. But even at that, I’d have a hard time encouraging the work by paying for it.
5. I need more information than a picture to fully get to my orientation. It’s not the typically female sort in only its aim; it’s the stereotype in the emotional aspect too. I’m sure many gay men don’t get both, but I think more do than admit or understand. I’m attracted to men I perceive as competent, family oriented, loyal, and ethical; you know, good at building a home, just like the guy I have :-). The morphology of the body is only partly attractive without the idea of them fitting that mold, and, let me tell ya, I don’t see finding that in a professional porn model. Call me an occupational bigot, I guess. Nah, give me, say, Russell Crow in Gladiator; he has the morphology and the story ;-).
6. I don’t want such in our home. I don’t want it on my computer. There are kids in our home and that limits a lot of such freedom; soon they’ll be using the internet and they are already into everything in an unguarded second. Of course I’m sure many do it responsibly and I don’t want to come off as near saying it’s a case against their parenting. I just don’t want to have secret hiding places or to figure out all the stuff about cleaning up my internet tracks in order to do it safely. It sounds like a lot of work, and, with past experience with coworkers, it’s too easy to mess up. Best not complicate things if they aren’t already complicated, right?
Anyway, that’s why I follow all the dire warnings against porn ;-). Again, I know many like it and have found a use for it, for perhaps a pragmatic solution to a difficult problem. I want to be clear; I take no issue with that. Unless it involves a couple areas for which I’d rather not think up a list, I see no speck in the porn viewer’s eye. But, to me, in my life, it all sounds like more work than it’d be worth. I’d rather read a porn star’s blog than that; at least it’d be a perspective I’ve never seen before :-). (Do porn stars have blogs?)