Sunday, August 03, 2008

Ringing Those Wedding Bells, But Quietly

The house sitter has sat, the bags are packed, and we will, within a day, be off to California to get married, once again.

Everyone in our lives has been congratulating us and making a big deal out of this. We very much appreciate it, and it is a big deal to us too. But I have an emotional reflex to keep it low key. We had our wedding, 13 years ago. We forged our vows in front of all those friends and family. We felt that overwhelming emotion and celebrated with our loved ones, some of whom, like my grandpa and uncle, aren't here to celebrate with us today. We rented the tuxedos, ate the cake and had our honeymoon too.

That specific August day is so important to us, so much so that I recoil from making a big deal of geting married again. We are doing this because we have to, because the law and equity should have been there on our wedding day but it was not. We are doing this for the right for my family to be treated as equal if something bad happens, even though that would mean I'd have to see death coming and move them to Ca or Ma. We are doing this before those fighting for Proposition 8 snatch it away from us. We will just hope they don't find a way to retroactively take rights away.

These are kind of mood killing considerations, you know? And we really wouldn't want this coming day to be as special as that first day anyway; it shouldn't be.

So it will be a simple, pleasant affair at the courthouse, the morning before we head off to Lego Land. We don't want to give our boys the impression that we are getting married in a better way than we did before, or even that we are "renewing" our vows, as that may give their young minds the impression their parent's promises, what they rely on, have a problem to fix. I've been trying to make it clear that this is about getting more legal protection for their family from the law because we couldn't get it when their daddy and papa were first married. Still, these aren't easy ideas to get across to a 6-year-old.

Nevertheless, this morning the very first thing Alan said to me was, "Papa, are you excited? One more day!" They get it, some of it at least. Yep, I am excited... and worried this will be for naught, but I didn't tell him that second part.

I'll try to post while there. It may be my only post while legally married, who knows? The last poll I saw looked good but there is some fervent and well-funded opposition lining up to convince the people of CA that my family and the equal legal treatment of my family are somehow the biggest threats to children and families in existence. They may succeed. But heck, they may not. I'm going to try to not think too far ahead in the next couple days and just enjoy the beach, the amusement park, and the legal right for my family to be treated as family, until we land back here in Utah.


playasinmar said...

"These are kind of mood killing considerations, you know?"

Sheesh, yeah. It's like watching a certain friend of mine agonize over the dessert menu so long we all start to regret the invention of chocolate-flavored desserts.

Just go fill out the paperwork and have fun at Lego Land. I know if I were that age all I'd remember was Lego Land, anyway.

Mr. Fob said...

I'm totally moving to California just so I can vote to protect your legal marriage. Enjoy Legoland and another celebration of your family.

[kɹeɪ̯g̊] said...

Have a great trip Scot. I'm really happy for you and your family.

MohoInTx said...

I'm so happy for you. You and your family are a great example of the happiness and love that can be found when two dedicated people fall in love.

Java said...

One small step for Cog and family, and hopefully a giant leap for legal rights for all. Have fun.

-L- said...

Congratulations, and best wishes to your family!

Beck said...

Best wishes! My thoughts are with you and your sweet family. You are certainly an inspiration and example to me.

C. L. Hanson said...

Re: We are doing this because we have to, because the law and equity should have been there on our wedding day but it was not.

So true. This is exactly what I was talking about in just write it down.

Here's hoping the good guys win in California, so you can get your documentation done fairly once and for all! :D