Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Matchmaking Advice

We’ve this friend, a great guy. He’s adopted a couple children, biological siblings, out from an abusive home and he is amazing with them; his parenting skills make me envious. He has gotten them past some horrible trauma, and into being a couple of great, loving, and well mannered children, not to mention adorable. Even on the superficial scale, he’s quite a catch, very handsome.

But he’s single; he can’t find the right guy. I guess single dads have a tough time finding eligible and interested partners in the gay community. Seems many gay men have assumed they couldn’t have family and have stopped thinking about it or making their life conducive for it. If his idea of a date is a $200 dinner followed by clubbing, and would never step into a Jungle Jim’s, he’s not much of a catch.

Then when you find, of that 50% men, 5% gay population, a guy willing to make a family, you still have to weed out which ones you couldn’t see bringing into your children’s lives, even if you do like them… Well, you get the idea, if people like R and I don’t start early we end up with a pretty small pool.

In thinking of who I’d play matchmaker with, or what advice to give him, it hit me. Gay men of the world, listen up. I have some important advice. :-)

Find yourself a Mormon man, if you can.

[Blatant but positive prejudice based on my experience mode]

1. They come conditioned, experienced, and willing to build families. They’ve changed their infant sibling’s diapers. They’ve often dealt with more than five kids at a time, and have strong parental ethics. Throw those baby books away; while I was the last of my siblings and not as experienced, R (and our “practice baby”) taught me all I needed to know.

2. They are principled guys. Of course there are exceptions, but most have had ethics drilled into them from early on and they’d never think of cheating on you.

3. This may be seen as a negative; I don’t see it that way, but they aren’t much for partying. For goodness sake, don’t give them any liquor before they know how to manage it ;-). But, if you don’t like clubs, and would rather go to a movie or for a hike, they’re your guy.

4. If they’ve been on a mission, great. Last week I got bo po gee (sp? :-)), one of my favorites, and I often come home to a shabu shabu the likes of which you cannot get in any Utah restaurant. My man speaks Korean, does yours?

5. Sure, you may have a rough road with their family at the get go, but once that’s done, (and it will end) you’ve got some great in-laws and a strong extended family, people you’ll come to love.

[/Blatant but positive prejudice based on my experience mode]

Now, please, don’t steal another’s husband, be that another a woman or man, and certainly don’t find a guy in the closet or still thinking being in a gay relationship is a sin; that’ll be nothing but trouble.

But find yourself a Mormon man, if you can. They’re great.


Loyalist (with defects) said...

I love it! This is a great supportive arguement i've seen in some while.

Beck said...

What a hoot! This is a great post! I've never heard one supporting with such authority and genuine experience such a viewpoint.

As I've contemplated what it would be like "out there", the image of this post hasn't always come to mind as "possible" though has always come to mind as "desireable".


-L- said...

Mormons are too stodgy. Find a baptist.

Paul said...

Find a baptist.

THAT made me laugh. Thanks, -I-.

Chris said...

I'm dating a Mormon guy... :)

Scot said...

Thanks Beck and Loyalist.

Stodgy? How many Baptists have you known? ;-)

Then you know what I mean, and so does he :-). You going to get him to post? I’m trying to talk my guy into it… He seems more qualified on some of these topics than I am.