Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Okay Then

So R tried to get rid of the nap again yesterday. They are so close, but by 8 it was clearly too soon, and they easily went off to bed. Of course this meant at 4 this morning B was nudging me awake. We went back to his room, as to not wake R, and he went back to sleep. All I had to do was lay there, keep my arm still, listen to his small breaths, and think.

I get too wrapped up. These are important topics with important consequences, and I’ve certainly got a lot of motivation to act, from my home to the fate of friends… But here I am again, at the end slope of this cycle of defense-offence-resignation-repeat. Though I do, I don’t want to have a stake in what other’s believe as matters of faith, or how that makes them act. I don’t want to look back on my counterattacks, flavored by some stranger, and then regret how it'd probably hit people I know, friends.

I guess I just wish this were a less complicated and dodgy world all around :-), and, though I think I should, that I didn’t need to do my part in conflicts. I’ll be glad, I think, to be able to soon better segregate the phases into separate online worlds; they don’t work well together.

To put the cherry on top of my “ah shucks, why get worked up?” feeling, I was given a couple gifts this morning too. Turns out R has been secretly taking the kids to make me a gift on the nights we take the boys out separately. Below is a picture of B’s (A’s had his name on it, but it was a similarly striking plate entitled, as he tells me, “Wild Jungle”):

Isn’t it beautiful? Well, even though the design may make it look like eating my morning cereal was a matter over which PETA should get up in arms, a crime scene for cheerios, I think it’s beautiful.

Consider me blissfully resigned again; the reset button has been pressed. Give me a couple days to start back up ;-).

1 comment:

Loyalist (with defects) said...

I've always felt that we live in a world that doesn't like self examination. Personally I don't always enjoy it either, but I have learned that if I want to discover new heights I must be willing to explore and challenge my thinking.

My personal creed is to accept all knowlege as it is presented. Yes, sometimes there is biasness in the delivery (especially when I am working with people on a political level), but even then I work hard to understand their point of view. I guess I enjoy that "Aaahaaa!" of discovery.

I very much enjoy your posts. They are insightful and thought provoking. Thanks.

btw, I loved the bowl. I think it would add a great demention to eating homicidal breakfast cereals :-)