Okay Then

So R tried to get rid of the nap again yesterday. They are so close, but by 8 it was clearly too soon, and they easily went off to bed. Of course this meant at 4 this morning B was nudging me awake. We went back to his room, as to not wake R, and he went back to sleep. All I had to do was lay there, keep my arm still, listen to his small breaths, and think.

I get too wrapped up. These are important topics with important consequences, and I’ve certainly got a lot of motivation to act, from my home to the fate of friends… But here I am again, at the end slope of this cycle of defense-offence-resignation-repeat. Though I do, I don’t want to have a stake in what other’s believe as matters of faith, or how that makes them act. I don’t want to look back on my counterattacks, flavored by some stranger, and then regret how it'd probably hit people I know, friends.

I guess I just wish this were a less complicated and dodgy world all around :-), and, though I think I should, that I didn’t need to do my part in conflicts. I’ll be glad, I think, to be able to soon better segregate the phases into separate online worlds; they don’t work well together.

To put the cherry on top of my “ah shucks, why get worked up?” feeling, I was given a couple gifts this morning too. Turns out R has been secretly taking the kids to make me a gift on the nights we take the boys out separately. Below is a picture of B’s (A’s had his name on it, but it was a similarly striking plate entitled, as he tells me, “Wild Jungle”):


Isn’t it beautiful? Well, even though the design may make it look like eating my morning cereal was a matter over which PETA should get up in arms, a crime scene for cheerios, I think it’s beautiful.

Consider me blissfully resigned again; the reset button has been pressed. Give me a couple days to start back up ;-).