Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Atoll

Of the experiences I’ve had with anti gay bias, only a few have been with people I personally know. I described one in which I committed a physical assault ;-), here. But another actually came from my childhood dentist. He was a friend of the family, of sorts, and always expressed a great deal of respect for me and my accomplishments and so on. I liked him too; I though he was a very smart, friendly, and admirable man. When I was LDS, he was one of the main examples to me of what an LDS man should be.

About a year after I came out to my parents my mom was there getting a checkup. After it was over they started talking about the new sanitary measures he was using in his practice. The topic turned to AIDS. It then turned to gays, at which point my dentist told her that he thought gays should all be shipped off to an island or shot. This was just casual conversation. He had no idea I was gay, and my mom could only chide him without telling him I was, as, at the time, I’d made it very clear I wanted to decide how to come out.

When explaining why we should all change dentists, this is what came out in response to my questions. It had to, else I’d never have understood; I couldn’t remember this dentist not being my dentist and I liked him a great deal. I’d not have believed he’d have said such a thing, if not for the fact that it was my mother’s testimony. So we left, and found a great new dentist. Eventually my old dentist found out I was gay through family friends, figured out why he’d lost our family’s business, and called to apologize and try to get us back. While I appreciated the apology, we certainly couldn’t go back.

Now, just like the other instance I mentioned, I’ve come to find out the guy has been arrested for sexual assault (of the heterosexual sort again). While I know the allegations certainly may not be true or stand up in court (as they did with the other guy), and I know two anecdotes do not count as data, it’s just bizarre this has happened twice now. I’ve only known two people every arrested for sexual assault, and these two men are them. Nevertheless, it’s certainly a tragedy all around.

2 comments:

santorio said...

this is out of psych 101: insecurity leads to acting out (sexually or otherwise) and to intolerance.

why are so many mormons so intolerant/insecure?
are they that worried about getting into the c-kingdom? have they so totally missed out the whole point of it all?

Scot said...

I just found association with sexism and aggression towards women is already documented, Psych 101 indeed:

Parrott, D.J., H.E. Adams, and A. Zeichner, Homophobia: personality and attitudinal correlates. Personality and Individual Differences, 2002. 32(7): p. 1269-1278.

Black, B., T.P. Oles, and L. Moore, The Relationship Between Attitudes: Homophobia and Sexism Among Social Work Students. Affilia, 1998. 13: p. 166-189.

I love it when I can trust my experience ;-).