Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I can't believe it!

This just in:

Utah Lawmakers Vote to Halt Gay Pet Adoption

In the final hours of the session, Utah lawmakers have voted to put an end to gay pet adoptions, after heated debate.


“The gays adopt pets, see, because they can’t have pets on their own; they have to recruit” explained Senator Buttars in floor debate. “Once in their homes these puppies and kittens are soon indoctrinated into the gay lifestyle, and taught that homosexuality is normal.”

“This is the nose of the camel in the tent,” said Senator Bramble, “They will adopt our pets and, if we don’t act now, it won’t stop there. They’ll use these unfortunate pets as political props to promote their agenda and force homosexual clubs into our obedience schools. The destruction of marriage can’t be far behind.”

Representative Tilton took a similar tone “This is a slippery slope my fellow Utahns, and I hope you sustain this bill [wink wink]. Just as homosexual “marriage” leads to polygamy and human-animal marriages, homosexual pet adoption will soon lead to dogs adopting puppies, or worse, kittens.”

When asked for comment, Gayle Ruzicka, Utah Eagle Forum President , was elated. “It’s very simple, a vote against this bill would have been a vote against marriage and a vote for sodomy. I’m glad our legislators bravely stood up for the wellbeing of our puppies and kittens in the face of political correctness.”

A representative for Utah’s Humane Society could not be reached for comment.

You just wait. I predict, by year’s end, the animal shelters of Utah will be packed to the rafters with toy poodles and shit tzus.

Anyway, I’m outraged…

;-) and, bumps and bruises aside, very relieved the legislative session is, today, over :-). Now on to the serious matter of figuring out the consequences of their actual actions.


Master Fob said...

Argh! Those gay couples and their pets! Thank goodness Chris Buttars and Gayle Ruzicka, the Dynamic Duo of Decency, have nipped the problem in the bud.

Kengo Biddles said...

1) Buttars makes my cranial arteries want to burst! Just the mere mention of his name gives me a migraine.

2) I'm surprised he's not referencing Al-Qaeda or some other bogeyman that's currently in the political sphere.

3) Have any of you heard how he referenced an LDS kid being sent home for wearing a CTR shirt from a Jordan School District Jr. High?

4) I swear I must have Buttars induced Tourrettes.

Scot said...

Master Fob: Dynamic Duo of Decency

You know what would be a good idea? We should have a costume design contest for them.

They really should have matching costumes.

Kengo: Have any of you heard how he referenced an LDS kid being sent home for wearing a CTR shirt from a Jordan School District Jr. High?

Yeah. One of my favorites this year, though, was his “we can’t make torturing animals a felony because then those who torture animals can’t then have guns” argument. However you feel about that bill, I think you’d have to admit that was a case of shooting yourself in the foot, so to say.

-L- said...

Who elects these people!?!

Beck said...

"...Who elects these people!?!"

We do! And "we" continue to do so because we forget what these morons do in January and February legislative sessions by the time November elections come around. Our memories are maybe a few weeks - no, more like a few days -and then vote for the "active Mormon conservative stake president type" because he wouldn't do anything that stupid, right?