Saturday, April 19, 2008

Better Not Make Any Mistakes

Yesterday, while Rob was still gone, I was driving our boys home from school and right away they went into the topic of marriage. A number of their friends’ parents are divorcing and it’s clearly become a topic of discussion among their peers. They wanted to know why some parents split up, and stuff like where their children will live. When showing them the photos from our wedding, I’ve often explained that day in terms of promises, and they wanted to know if every married couple made promises like the promises their dad and I made. Tough questions.

After explaining as best I could, they seemed to get the impression it was all about people making mistakes, which it certainly is in many cases. Lastly Alan asked if their friend’s dad could get married again, and I told him yes.

At that they thought for a long while, until I’d become distracted from the subject by driving. Finally Brian said in a declaration, “Papa, that was your last chance.” Alan backed him right up, with a “uh-hu.”

“What do you mean, my last chance?” I asked.

Brian said “When you married daddy, that was your last chance. You can’t marry anyone else.”

Even at their most transparent, don’t children just know how to get to the center of you? :-)

I told them, yes, that was my last chance.

8 comments:

[kɹeɪ̯g̊] said...

That's quite the conversation. I'm glad your kids are that adamant about you two staying together. That's so cute.

Cooper said...

I LOVE this. How simply perfect ... "your last chance". Children have a way of slicing right to the core of things. I guess you and Rob are married for life now. No more chances for you. :)

Java said...

Wow. I love their confidence. I admire your commitment to making their confidence a reality.

Eleanor's Papa said...

Jason and I have never had a commitment ceremony (as an ACLU lawyer I'm holding out for legal marriage, and Jason is waiting for me to give up holding my breath). But right before we went into the courtroom for the adoption finalization, our lawyer said "Oh, we've been assigned Commissioner Prochnau, she likes to make a little ceremony out of it." Sure enough, without advance preparation or fun wedding presents we had to stand up in front of the judge, our baby, and our parents and intensely share how we felt about each other.

It's ironic that "procreation" is offered by our opponents as a pretext for denying marriage equality, when being Eleanor's fathers together is at the core of what makes us married.

Sean said...

Waaay too cute for words!!

Chase said...

That is adorable.

elbow said...

I love your family! I'll be in UT again at the end of May. Can we have lunch again?

Thanks for sharing... you guys are amazing.

Scot said...

Craig “I'm glad your kids are that adamant about you two staying together.”

What I love is how they just see no two ways about it for our home, even if their fiends are going through it.

Cooper “I guess you and Rob are married for life now. No more chances for you. :)

And I only got the one; unfair ;-).

Thank you Java.

EP: “as an ACLU lawyer”

Man, you must be the stuff of Pat Robertson’s nightmares.

Sure enough, without advance preparation or fun wedding presents we had to stand up in front of the judge, our baby, and our parents and intensely share how we felt about each other.

That declaration of co-parents was important to us too. I posted on that day for us here.

Thank you Sean and Chase, and you bet Elbow. Give us a call or email once you get in town. I want to hear about your adventures.