Monday, February 16, 2009

The Man Behind the Header

Of course, our kids don't get to read this blog :-). When they're older, I wonder, though, if they'll ever care to go through the many posts about what's gone through my head in this period. Will it matter to know how the politics were, or why we live where we do or did, or why I got stressed with every legislative session and the sorts of things it literally brings to their front door? Though I live in a town where most folks are supposed to keep a record of some sort for their kids, it's still strange to think the adults they will become may someday read what their old man was thinking when at their same age.

I mean, I can remember the week the realization hit me that my dad is just a man and my mom is just a woman, just as human as the rest with fears, mistakes, and conflicting emotions. Don't get me wrong, they are great, good and strong people and great parents, but, when you're a kid, parents have almost magical qualities as providers, nurturers, teachers. It's no wonder it's common to keep all that behind a supernatural curtain even after you've seen behind the mortal curtain.

I'm certainly not saying it's a bad thing to come to that realization as an adult, though. My parents, they may be human, but they are some of the best humans I know and I cherish our relationship; besides, every person on a pedestal is done a disservice. I guess I'm just wondering how much I'd care to read through their thoughts. If our adult boys ever do read back through this, though, I'd want them to know what I hope they know by heart: that I love them with all I am. I'd want them to know that I desperately hope the decisions we make, especially in this next, precarious year, are made correctly. And if they aren't, I'm sorry.

Anyway, all that wondering came to mind just because there's a new picture in the header here; my mind does ramble :-). They may not understand a blog, but every now and then Brian has noticed his old drawing in the header, and he didn't like how big he made Rob.
FYI, I'm the littler guy with the big ears there. He has been trying all weekend to get me to put a new picture of us "on the internet", and thus the header change. Though I'm attached to the old one, I've changed it. I wonder, when I'm 65 and they're 36, if they'll still do my artwork; thing is that's about my current level of drawing skill right there :-).


Alan said...

I too still remember the day it hit me like a rock from the sky that my parents weren't omniscient demi-gods. It seemed almost incredible at the time, but within a day or so I realized that I was very glad to have stumbled onto it. My parents seemed a lot more real and authentic and I was able to have a much deeper and more mature relationship with them afterward. And I for one love reading anything they write, especially from years back. Now that mom has left us, I treasure every word she wrote. I'm sure your boys will feel the same.

Ezra said...

I like your new header, but the old one is so much more authentic to me... I can't exactly express why. But it really doesn't matter.

I keep my blogs and a private journal, and I hope someday they will be of use to someone.

maybemaybenot said...

Dang it, Scot. You just made me teary again - and I am not, repeat NOT PMSing.

Something this simple is still so sweet. But I believe you worry waaaay too much about your decisions. My own father was only half as involved as you and was maybe 1/3 as conscientious as you are with your boys and I adore my Dad. Absolutely adore him.

I have followed you and Rob and your precious kids for a long time and you are going to be alright. I'd of killed for parents like the two of you. But best of luck with the tough decisions.

Warmest Regards,


P.S. You can still come live next door to us - offer still stands. :)

Scot said...

Alan "My parents seemed a lot more real and authentic and I was able to have a much deeper and more mature relationship with them afterward."

Yes, exactly. Magical creatures are so hard to relate to :-).

Ezra "I can't exactly express why. "

Funny, I like the other better too, but when an artist offers free work I can't turn him down. Maybe he was considering an audience with this, while the other one was a picture he drew for himself and just put up in his room.

Ah Jennifer, if we lived next door, we could get together and be all emotional. I'm prone to getting teary too, and I'm certain it's not caused by PMS :-).

"But I believe you worry waaaay too much about your decisions."

Odd thing is that I'm pretty sure you're right, but there are certain things I want to worry about too much, just in case. That, and it's the legislative season here and it's hard to avoid going into too cautious mode.