Admiration

As I write this I can hear the sounds of Eine Klein Nachtmusik bouncing through the house. Not performed well, sure, but it’s bringing me a good deal of happiness nonetheless.

About five years ago, Rob’s grandmother passed away. We were, of course, very sad. She was a wonderful lady and never looked at Rob any differently when he came out and she never treated me with anything but love. Like Rob’s parents, she somehow easily reconciled her faith with our union. Anyway, she was a marvelous piano and organ player, as well as person--even played for her church--and Rob has very fond memories of her on her piano when he was a child. When she died, though, she left no specific instruction as to what was to be done with her belongings. That piano ended up as property of all of her children jointly, but none of them wanted it. They began looking to sell it to just anyone, and that, of course, upset Rob. In short, I ended up buying the piano as a gift for him.

Now, this may sound nice but partly foolish, as neither of us could play piano. This instrument has followed us into three homes, and sat unused in our living rooms, a beautiful baby grand statue that our boys only knew as the thing around which they were not to play. And it’s remained unused, until now. Rob has been taking piano lessons.

I imagine a sign of a healthy marriage must be the ability to be continually impressed by and in admiration of your other half, and I am impressed by this. He practices diligently, and is gaining skill noticeably. The timing is a bit off, for now, but Mozart sounds particularly good coming from Rob, playing on his grandmother’s piano, doing so to better himself and to fulfill one of the hopes she had for him as a child.

I sometimes wish he’d participate in these blogs and don’t 100% know why he doesn’t (he’s met some of you and read’s Rosie O’Donnell’s blog, after all :-)). I’m pretty sure though he wants to give me my space, and he knows this sort of online activity has been my way of release and dealing with gay issue for as long as we’ve known each other. He’s simply not as much into such. But I’m kind of glad that I can write this without him reading it. It will not get me on his good side; I’m there. It will not be a compliment he’ll need to return; we know.

Simply, in addition to everything else, I’m impressed by him.

And it’s certainly not just taking on piano at this point in our lives. He keeps the house in great working order, balancing the kids, laundry, and well over half the cooking. Yesterday, for one example, the kids had a play date with a mom and friend from their preschool. This was even after he went as a chaperone on the school’s field trip. He made the most beautiful cob salad I’d seen, and his renowned clam dip, and some sort of lemon cake for dessert (I know it was good because, at the hint of the meal in the morning, I decided to work from home, of course; I’m no dummy). He's great. We’ve neighbors calling weekly to thank him for some treat he’s brought over or to try to get a recipe out of him , if they can (he’s overly secretive with his ingredients). He simply impresses, and in areas where I’m completely helpless.

Anyway, admiration = good for relationship, if that wasn’t already clear... Now, I just can’t wait to torture the twins with piano lessons in a year or so ;-). I hope, when they realize the importance of the instrument, they’ll find the tones coming from it as meaningful as I am feeling it now.