New Years is more like the last gasp of the winter holidays for us than the climax. Rob hasn't been awake to see the new year come in for about a decade--I usually just give him a careful kiss on the cheek--and goodness knows I don't want to face two 6-year-old children new years day that have been up past midnight. So tonight we'll be celebrating early and at home.
So what do you have to say for yourself, 2008? Looking at my blog sidebar, it has been a rather large and mixed bag. In fact, if I didn't have a blog I fear I'd not have remembered all the ups and downs.
Firstly, we went on many great vacations, and they were very fun (needed more words for links :-)). The best moments of 2008 really have been those when it's just the four of us on an adventure.
I learned to never kiss aquatic mammals.
Rob herniated a disk and I became much more domestic.
Alan got glasses, I got minor surgery, and we got a bunch of new pets.
I was smuggled into a panel on children of minorities in Utah schools.
Senator Buttars had his fun harming our families, for the sake of families.Nevertheless, I hope he had some Happy Holidays.
Peter Danzig was fired for supporting Nielsen for supporting GLBT people.
I was optimistic about the new church leadership. Did I have reason to be?
I began to worry about how living here affects my health.
I did political stuff, as a delegate.
We opened isocrat.org, but it still needs a lot of work, time we don't have. We also got the blog going and that's still trying to find the right voice.
I finally got my doctorate, and there was much rejoicing.
I was rightly worried about California allowing us to have equal rights.
Rob became the "Room Mom" for our boy's class.
We met a bunch of MoHos at Pride.
I went to prison and consorted with police officers, but that turned out problematic.
I got engaged to be married, again.
The LDS church told their members to "do all you can" to be sure our legal marriages wouldn't last.
I got upset at family who support such a message.
I did what I could to address those against us at isocrat.org and reviewed the research on children of gay parents, along with the arguments against marriage and such.
A suicide got to me, as well as a beating, and an attempted suicide.
We left for California, and we were, again, married on our 13th anniversary. Those two days, described in that last link were the best days of this year and of many others, right below the birth of our boys and our first marriage. I wish we could look back on them now without that bitter sweet haze, without remembering it knowing we'd be hit down so soon afterward. Ah well...
The LDS church totally drank Affirmation's milkshake.
Then their PR department claimed they were victims if gays kept equal rights. They lied about Europe, mislead about the Catholic Boston Charities case, and insulted the moral character of my children, all with much love, in press release meant to "reduce misunderstanding".
Evergreen backed them.
LDS families broke, mine a bit as well.
We got our 3rd marriage license, and held much hope that it would keep legal weight come November.
As soon as the ads started, the poll swung from a 17 point lead for our families on Proposition 8 to a deficit. And man, talk about the ads, deceptive and dehumanizing and paid for by some in my family and many in my state. That hurt.
As the LDS seemed to have paid for the majority of such ads, I tried to introduce them to the GLBT nation.
The LDS church then pushed harder, telling college students in a video that they would get supernatural blessing if the fought against our families using "viral" online methods. Then the chain letters started; those were so full of misinformation that they would have been funny, if not for their effect on many families like mine.
But hey, Conneticuite made our marriages legal! If only I had a job prospect there.
Then a purple badger ate our pumpkin.
I began having a hard time sleeping.
Rob began wanting to move from Utah, and from the hostile culture here.
The election happened and we lost Proposition 8, but my guy won the presidency. My family was in legal limbo again.
Looking back on those posts, I was more hurt than I realized. It's not easy feeling like there's a tide of people out there who think it's a moral good to hurt those you love and need to protect the most. It's frightening. To be honest, I'm still not over it; it still stings. Back then I thought I'd be over it all by now but something was different this time; having your family being held back is not the same as them being knocked back from the legal ground once held. Best not think too much of it on a holiday though.
We spoke out, and the LDS church was shocked that we did. Honestly? They were surprised? I still don't get that.
I felt some despair, but the new and stronger gay community helped end that.
Regardless, I revealed myself to be an unimaginably horrible person.
I finally started to sleep normally again, but still feel a physical pain from the stress of Prop 8, even today. Should I get that checked?
I tried to get everyone to give a charitable gift for the holidays. I tried to make it work, but not many were interested. I really don't know how to give up on this either, and they will gift next year :-).
I leaned on friends, both old and new.
Lastly, I'll list that I got engaged again, twice in one year. If I need to, I'd renew my vows to my family every day, every hour. I'll take on those legal responsibilities and try to secure the stability of equality under the law for them as many times as others forcibly divorce us, plus one. We will start again, if we need to. This cog, in this family, will spin until it's done; that's simply the thing that I am.
In ways it's been a hard year on my family. I've three people, though, that make surrender impossible and all the losses well worth it. Come on 2009, I'm ready for ya.
And Happy New Year All.